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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

 
MORE OF JOHNNY DAMON IN A YANKEE UNIFORM

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:

RECAP OF RED SOX PRESS CONFERENCE:

(Uncle Larry sits in the middle, holds Jed and Ben's hands. Ben drinks a bottled water and says nothing; Jed tries to speak, stutters, looks like he is about to cry, wets himself, and defers to Uncle Larry.)

"The last stages of this did come as a bit of a surprise to us. We're not going to go back and reconstruct the negotiations, and what would we have done. I leave it to the Yankees to make decisions for the Yankees." -Larry Lucchino

Q:How did it come to pass that Johnny Damon wound up a New York Yankee, when the Red Sox have said all along that retaining Damon was your top priority?

Larry:

" We're not here to talk about the past...We're here to focus on the positive...We were taken by surprise...It's Nomar's fault...The evil emperor has no clothes...It's Theo's fault...It takes two to tango...Maybe I'm not fit to be the President of the Boston Red Sox...A rolling stone catches no moss...Maybe I should move back to Cali and regrow my 1970's porn moustache."

-END OF PRESS CONFERENCE-


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